Being “All In” is the driving force behind achievement and adventure

How committed are you right now? If you had to rate your commitment to your domestic partner, what would it be? What would you like to experience more of in this relationship? What would you like to have less of? What would you like to be different?

What about your job? Out of 100, how committed are you to your company or employer? What is too much for you in this part of your life? What is too little of? What would you like to be true that isn’t true?

When it comes to your own health and fitness, how committed are you as a percentage? What is the breakthrough or transformation you would most like to see in this field? Out of 100, how committed are you to your best friend? What would you like to be true with them that isn’t true right now?

What about your family – your siblings, children and parents? How committed are you to them individually or collectively? Write a number? What would you like the number to be? Is there any particular project you are involved in at the moment – ​​it could be an acquisition or renovation, or maybe you are planning a sabbatical or a new business venture. How committed are you? Note your answers and write down the percentages of your current commitment to each area, so you can evaluate.

To get a sense of how commitment equates to satisfaction, look at your own satisfaction in all important areas of your life by answering these simple questions here I wonder how do the percentages match up?

By fully committing, you have the power to create a future of your own design. When your relationship feels stagnant, your work life is uninspiring, or an initiative hits a snag, there’s no a more welcoming and exciting world than a partner who declares their undying love. , a boss who reminds you of their complete belief in you, or a colleague who shares their passion for the project. There is something transformative about commitment. It allows the possibility to triumph over all the reasons why “it can’t be done.” But what if your colleague, your spouse or your boss is waiting for you to show them how dedicated you are? After all, they are only human too. Through words and actions that achieve what you intend – you have the power to create a future of your own design. But commitment requires courage, and, well, commitment.

Being “all in” is transformative You might think that being 96% committed to your partner, co-worker, or boss would ensure a 96% outcome. You would be wrong. To give any relationship a chance to succeed, you have to be 100% committed. Anything less, and your project or partnership is almost certainly doomed. And if you don’t believe me, imagine how you would feel if your best friend, your spouse, your most trusted colleague told you that they are 96% committed to you. You wouldn’t be human if your entire focus didn’t go to the missing 4%.

Now imagine if your beloved friend, colleague or partner pulled you aside to declare their complete belief in your relationship or shared project – imagine how you would feel if they told you, and said the true, that they are 100% committed.

And it’s not just about what you say. It’s as much about how you feel as how you behave. You know when someone is 100% committed. And you know when they don’t. And they don’t need to say anything. It’s the same with you. Your co-workers, colleagues, friends, and partners could put a number on just how committed you are to them – and I’ll bet they wouldn’t be far off. So, you may be holding back precisely because you believe your friend or colleague is holding back from you, but it’s a catch-22 because unless they feel you’re 100% there for them , they won’t fully invest in you. And you know it’s true because you wouldn’t either.

Today, my client, Sam Barcroft is highly respected around the world as an innovative creator of digital content, but in his blog, Creatorville he recounts one of his first and most bitter rejections as a young musician. As a young man, Sam loved the experience of being in a band but managed to secure a place at university at the last minute. “This meant I could continue my music at the same time as studying. And then I got fired from the band. They didn’t want me unless I was 100% all in. It was a hammer blow. I was stunned, as I hadn’t seen it coming. The band had been such a great and fun time in my life as a young adult. It was a terrible rejection. But it taught me a great lesson. If you want to be really successful, you have to go 100% in.”

The 100% rule extends to how you define yourself. Just like Sam Barcroft’s bandmates didn’t want a student musician as a bandmate if you had the choice between hiring say, an Abba tribute band, and an ABBA tribute band that also covered Boney M, a Wedding photographer which was alone. did Weddings or one who also did trade shows, who would you choose? Personally, I would always choose the professional who was 100% committed to their chosen craft.

You may know the story of Hernán Cortés arriving in the New World in 1519 with six hundred men. As soon as they started, he made history by destroying his own ships, so that the men would have to commit to their new life, without any hope of returning.

By burning the ships, by eliminating any available path back to a different or previous path, there is an opportunity for your fellow members to become as committed to your collective effort as you yourself clearly are.

Let go of the people and plans you’re not willing to commit to completelyBeing 100% committed to a few select and special relationships necessarily means not committing to others. If you accept that total commitment is transformative and without it no relationship or endeavor has any real chance of flourishing, it makes sense, doesn’t it, to let go of the people and plans you are unhappy with , or unable to commit to them?

Instead of blaming your partner, boss, or colleague for their lack of commitment, it’s much more honest to find a way to give 100% back.

It is a form of burning your boats that signals to the partners on whom your chosen future depends, that you are 100% committed to them.

Being Committed is not the same as being attached An attachment is a personal contract we make that says “If this project succeeds then I’m a success, and if it fails I’m a failure.” Attachment is heavy for others to be around. When you are attached your ego is so wrapped up in a plan or project that it is impossible for others to give any feedback. There is no room for any input, or for others to feel joy, lightness, or self-expression when you hold on so tightly and make it all about you.

Attachment is not fun for you either. A big part of my job as a coach is to support clients to see life as a game. And when your ego is wrapped up tightly in what you do or do, it’s hard to be playful and creative, or bring your best to the game.

Being committed without being attached is a new contract with yourself that says: “I will do everything in my power to make this happen, but I will not make the outcome all about me.” This way of being includes the possibility of experiencing lightness and fun.

When someone is committed but not attached, they say “I thought I’d love to share it with you,” “how about this,” “maybe we could try it this way,” and “I’d love your input.” And when we’re on the receiving end of someone who’s committed but not attached, we’re welcome to try whatever they offer. When someone is disconnected they create space for us to say ‘No, it’s not right for me,’ which is essential for us to have the freedom to say ‘yes, count me in.’ Only when we can say no, can we say yes with any force.

Commitment drives every adventure. And, for any chance of success, commitment must be total. You have to be all in.